can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
