Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
