You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
