the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
