All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
