We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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