omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
