i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
