I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
