i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
