You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
