Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
These tits shall not be calmed
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
