toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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