Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
