1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
