im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
