white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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