So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
