he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
