I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
