I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
