Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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