I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
