Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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