ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We need to rekindle our bromance
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
