remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i think i have herpe
just one?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize