I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
