Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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