I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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