I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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