why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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