my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
