Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
