I wish I could punch you in the face.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
if i died would you start the facebook group?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
