i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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