I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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