We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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