WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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