i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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