I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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