All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
