I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
