I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
