I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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