Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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