i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize