i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
