so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize