and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
