He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
