arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize