He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
