It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
