My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
