Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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