Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
