Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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