Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
