This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
