We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Randomize
