you guys were way drunker than both of me
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
