No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
