ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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