I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
