"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
