I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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