Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
