K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize